Living for Christ –

I did not grow up with parents who were regular church goers. My mother was pretty much a single mom with my father because he barely was home from what i remember. I would remember him being gone for like 2 or 3 days a week and then he would come home drunk and then him and my mom would end up fighting, i would have some anxiety attack from it and would either have to go hospital, or my dad would leave and then come back a few days later, and then leave again, it was so retarted and i vowed i would never put myself in that kind of relationship. I never understood why my mom stayed with him seeing as how he never worked a day in his life ( I don’t remember him ever coming home with a paycheck, or ever going to a job) but now i get it, she had her own issues from her mom dying when she was young and then her dad was a junk dad and abandoned her too, so she grew up with her aunt who was stressed out and mean and had 5 kids of her own so she was not the nicest so my mom didn’t feel loved or wanted and because of that she didn’t know her worth or value and ended up with men who did not know how to treat her.

Fast forward a few years and my mom ended up with the man who my father ripped off. I know crazy right. So my father told him that he could fix his car, but instead he took his money and ran so the guy came over to collect, and i guess his payback was stealing my father’s family from him. Now this man we will call Al, and he was not any better than my father. However he did work, and he started to spoil my mom and I guess she wasn’t used to that cause before you know it my dad was out and Al was in. I didn’t like Al at first, I felt like he was trying to buy my mom and older sister, and it was working.

Eventually he moved in, and my mom started taking us to a church where her Uncle was the pastor. She would drop my sisters and I off on sunday morning, and then go back home to be with her boyfriend, I guess she didn’t want us around so she could do all those gross things with Al, and then she would come back and pick us up. Never understood why she didn’t go, but now i get it, she was ashamed of the way she was living, and she was mad at God for the way her life turned out.

My uncle and his family were really good to us, but I didn’t receive all that i should have received at that time, and because of the things that were done to me in my life, I ended up angry at God too. I had a friend , Ronnie who loved God so much and I never understood why cause i didn’t see him as a loving God. It wasn’t until i had my son, and after that relationship ended badly, and then a few more bad relationships that i realized i needed a change for my family and I. I didn’t realize it at the time but God was working in me, and my friend was planting the seed.

Once I stepped in that church i felt home and my son was six years old at the time. From then on we have been at that amazing church called Word of Life Hawaii. I grew so much there and through work and the holy spirit, as well as the prayers of my church family and friends i was able to slowly heal from my past. I don’t know what my life would be like if not for that step into that church, and I dont want to know because I have an amazing life now, an amazing husband and family. I am so glad i made the choice to fix the deep seeded issues within me. I am still working on some, and some will be a continual battle, but i am definitely not where i was and for that I will forever be grateful. Thank you Jesus! Gods timing is truly a blessing!